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I’m sitting on the can at 4:30AM planning my day at sea….You might be thinking to yourself, ’self, did he just say 4:30am??’

Yes.

There’s something wholly unnatural about 4:30am. 4:30am just doesn’t feel right unless (a) you’re still awake instead of just getting up; (b) you’re sitting at the blackjack table you’ve been at since 5:00pm the day before (also fits into (category (a) above); or (c) you’ve got a cold budweiser by your side and two warm strippers in your lap and you’ve just not realized that it’s getting near breakfast time (also fits into category (a) above as well). So basically, 4:30am is wrong.

But when you must fish, you must fish.

Today we chase Salmon.

It’s cold out there at 5:00am in the fog. Cold mornings call for one thing: a flask full of rum. Something about boats and rum really just works. The spiciness of the rum fits in nicely with salt air. You feel it expand in your belly alongside the gallon of coffee you drank while sitting on the throne an hour before, warming your bones and taking the edge off the seasickness. No wonder pirates liked the shit so much.

This day, however, I’m fresh out of rum. Luckily for me, my friends brought me a bottle of 8-year-old Cachaca (aka “Pinga”) from Sao Paulo, Brazil. This cane-derived love juice will do nicely in a pinch. It’s enough like rum that it still works with the whole fish guts, blood and salt air in the morning thing, but different enough to make you say, “gee Toto, I don’t think we’re in the Caribbean anymore, this fog is thicker than I thought.”

Think somewhere in between an aged rum and a reposado tequila. Rum with a twist.

Speaking of tequila… stay away from that shit while fishing. I don’t know why. The thought of it just made me have the runs (remember, I’m writing this on the can).

You know, a year after writing this article, I had to return and append a little something to it. That something would be good, old fashioned Peach Schnapps.

Wait, wait, stop grimacing. I know, I know…. you’re saying “no, no! that’s not real booze!” and you’re right– it’s not. It’s stuff normally reserved for high school kids and girlfriends. The stuff of foo-foo drinks. But I would like to also suggest that it serves two important purposes: it’s a great breakfast beverage whilst out in the cold pacific chasing salmon, and it’s great on a ski lift. I think it must be the stuff that those Saint Bernards carried in their little casks. Just enough bite to warm you up, with the added benefit of feeling like you’re eating a fruit salad for breakfast– so you don’t feel like quite as much of a degenerate for being drunk at 6:00AM.

If this all sounds a bit disjointed, I’m sorry. It’s 4:30am, and I’m outta here. Gotta flush, fill the flask and head out to sea. Yo ho ho!

(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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