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What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?? Aaaaaaaarrrrrrr…. Most rums make me feel like a pirate, but this 2-decade old cane juice makes me like I’ve just pillaged, plundered and despoiled many virgins. Aaaaaaarrrrrr.

What we have here is some top-notch Guatemalan hooch. Like the Zaya, which I previously claimed to be “the best rum ever made”, it’s got that classic Guatemalan sweetness to it. It’s thick legged, just like you like your women– and she wraps those suckers around you, digs in the spurs and rides you to the mercado like the jackass you are, where you pick up a healthy sack full of cloves, a healthy shot of booze and some cinnnamon for the ride back home. Once home, she strokes you to sleep… and while you’re sleeping she hits you over the head with a fry pan and steals your wallet while giving you the best hand-job you ever had while unconscious. Sound like fun? It is if you’re a Pirate! Aaaaarrrrrr!

Anyway, I digress. The oak’s nearly gone here. Or should I say, it’s so infused with the cane that you can’t distinguish one from the other. What you have in the end is a totally unique-tasting thick-legged hooch like nothing you’ve ever had before. It doesn’t have that artificial-tasting sweetness like Pyrat, just a mellowed caramel body with spice around the edges. It feels like a wine when you drink it. In fact, there’s almost no harshness to the alcohol– though it is 40 proof, it drinks like a wine or even a liqueur.

100 points, plus 2 for the hand job, and 20 more if she brings back my wallet.

(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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