BoozeReviews.net

This website is intended for an audience over 21 years old, and contains some profanity and lots of stories about all sorts of things that happen while imbibing alcohol. If you are not of legal drinking age, or you are easily offended by profanity, then please, for our sake and yours, go away. Otherwise... enjoy the site, and hopefully we'll make you laugh in the process. And make sure you check out our ratings system on your first visit, so you know how we're judging this stuff.

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OK, so you're over 21? You can handle crudeness, juvenile humor and profanity? Then read on...

Well, fall is here in San Diego, and the weather is still ninety six degrees in the shade. However, it is a great time to be tasting some of the local breweries winter offerings.  Big stouts, smoked porters, barrel aged this and coffee roasted that. It never gets old being smack dab in the middle of a great beer town.

Had an eagerly-anticipated taster of Boris on tap at Alpine Beer Company after staring at the bourbon casks looming large in the front of the brewery for months.  My initial impression was that the coffee doesn’t overwhelm the taste of the bourbon barrel aging.  A good thing in my mind.  The beer was well balanced between the coffee and bourbon flavor.  Upon leaving, I was definitely excited for more sampling,  or what we in the BoozeReviews business call “research.”  At least that’s what I tell my wife.

After grabbing a few 22 oz. bottles, we ventured back from the land of the lost to knock back some Duet, Pure Hoppiness, and, of course, more Boris.  JDavid was the first one to taste the off putting sour/tart flavor that he likened to fresh-off-the-tree green apples. The moment he said this, I tried to focus in on the flavor he was tasting, and yes, it was there.  Could it be?  Did Boris turn ugly in the casks in the later stages of aging? Now I’m no cicerone, but something seems to have gone awry in this beer.

Now I’m the first one to jump on the Alpine bandwagon, but Boris kind of made me feel like the first time a girl looked at my dick and said to me, “Pinche pito de pitufo!” My reply was, “It is what it is.”  And that’s all I can say here about Boris.  It is what it is.

BoozeReviews Score: 60/100

L’Chaim!

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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One day.  Over 100 of the best Pinot Noir makers on the West Coast.  One Wop with a wine glass.  Can you say “Pig in Shit”?

Picture yourself with a jar of viagra and 6 hours free access to Caligula’s #1 harem.

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(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Well kids, you may have noticed that I’ve been suspiciously absent from this little beast of a website I created.  Truant.  Cutting class.  In fact, you could go so far as to say that I’ve been an outright traitor.  In response to the resounding fictional chorus that just shouted “why?!”, I’ll say this:  I’ve been busy making wine.

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(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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For quite some time I’ve been hesitant to try any IPA that isn’t made in California. It’s not that I’m inherently Cali-centric, I’ve just never had an IPA brewed outside of The Golden State that I’ve really, really enjoyed. However, when I stumbled across Punk IPA at my local liquor store, Palm Springs (no, not the arid, geriatric inferno to the east of Mt. San Jacinto), I was feeling adventurous and the thought of a ‘Punk’ IPA sparked a wave of nostalgia carrying me back to the old days of sweaty, smoky anarchy at Soma Live. I should have known better. Like many of the “punk” boy bands to play at Soma, this IPA has little substance to accompany an aggressive façade. This beer is no Bad Religion. And while I typically won’t review a beer that I’m not particularly fond of, the proclamation of “We don’t care if you don’t like it” on the bottle pushed me forward, much like the dumb fuckin’ skinheads used to do at Soma.

So about that beer…

Splitting the bomber between two double-walled glasses for my wife and I, the beer poured a very light, golden straw-color with an almost non-existent head. In addition to scarce lacing, it also seemed to be lacking in carbonation. I’m usually leery of IPAs that don’t register an abv above 6.5%, but Blind Pig has had me reconsidering this lately. Coming in at 6%, this was no Blind Pig. Not only was there not much bitterness, but it just seemed to have an overall flat flavor profile. While the website claims that “the light fruity aroma dominates the initial confrontation,” I didn’t get any of this on the nose. And the claim that “lychee, kiwi and passionfruit all prevail with subtle nuances of cherry and strawberry,” is also lost on me. Perhaps I just picked up a bad bottle, but the “07/07/09” best by date on the bottle leads me to believe that it should be relatively fresh. There is also the possibility that my trusty liquor store, the home of robberies and car-jackings-with-hammers, didn’t properly store the beer. The friendly, non-beer-guy cashier did freely admit that the couple of cases they had had “sat in the back for a couple weeks until they found space for them,” but unless I can find a bottle for less than the 9 bucks I shelled out for this one, I won’t be giving it a second chance. I should also admit that I drank it following a West Coast IPA, a beer that has me questioning my former allegiances.

Score: I’ll start with a generous 80 points (allowing for the possibility that I had a bad bottle and the fact that it followed the WCIPA), but subtract 10 points for the price (I could have bought a Sculpin!).

Final score: 70 points.

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Wait!  Stop!  Don’t open that bottle!  This stuff needs a lot more time!

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(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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I can think of very few redemptive qualities for that armpit-of-an-area referred to as East County in San Diego. In fact, it baffles my mind that there is actually a section of the population that takes pride in the “EC.” To be fair, I must admit that the overwhelming majority of these folks also think that meth is an excellent recreational drug, racism is cool, and motocross is sick. But not all of us that call this hell-hole home are mental defects. There is actually one exceptionally redeeming quality of the EC: its proximity to perhaps the best “micro” (the place is literally tiny) brewery in the world, Alpine Beer Company. While for many of you, I probably just tossed whatever semblance of credibility I might have out the window, those who are fortunate enough to be within reach of the extremely limited distribution of this brewery will likely not argue much. And for those of you who now think I am delusional, you need only make the trek up the hill to Alpine to get a growler fill of their Duet IPA.

I often find myself thinking, ‘what the fuck were these guys thinking when they named their beer ____?’ For example, Ninkasi’s Total Domination IPA is a solid IPA if you happen to be in Oregon and can’t get any Cali IPAs, but it is a far cry from being a ‘total dominator.’ Duet, on the other hand, couldn’t have a more apt name. This is one sublime, harmonious motherfucker!

After fellow boozereviewer J David filled my favorite L’Aventure stemless Riedel to the brim, I paused for a half-second to admire the clarity of the deep golden goblet of goodness before I plunged my schnoz into the path of the citrusy, pyroclastic surge emanating from the healthy head of this beer. The harmony of the Simcoe-Amarillo hop tag team makes this one of the tastiest, most sessionable IPAs around: The perfect balance of bitterness and sweetness, citrus and floral notes, and just enough malt to give this beer a silky-smooth mouthfeel.

Thanks to the folks at Alpine Beer Company, life in the EC isn’t so bad after all. With growlers of Duet and Pure Hop, paired with barbecued quesadillas with grilled corn, onions, and homegrown Anaheim chiles, and fresh salsa with homegrown tomatoes and green onions, I can’t think of a better way to enjoy a summer evening in San Diego.

Just Duet! You won’t be disappointed.

Score: 99.5 points (It would have been 100, but I deducted .5 points for the limited availability- this should be a year-round offering.)

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Went to O’Brien’s pub for Green Flash Brewing Co. night (7/17) with two fellow BoozeReviewers to celebrate the brewery’s Best of Show award for West Coast IPA at the San Diego County Fair last month. West Coast IPA is tied for first as my favorite cask beer (Nelson from Alpine Beer Company is the other favorite), so we were all looking forward to this momentous occasion. As an added bonus, brewer Chuck Silva was there share some beers and answer questions about his great brew. What a night!

The beer pours a hazy orange color with some sediment due to the cask conditioning. The initial smell that I got was the floral/citrus aroma of the Simcoe and Cascade hops, and a slight casky whiff. The first taste was creamy deliciousness; the creaminess was like eating one of those orange/vanilla ice cream pops, only one that tasted like a really good IPA. Fantastically drinkable. I threw back two in the first twenty minutes; my fear that the cask would be blown quickly made me rush! After seeing that the cask wouldn’t be one of those half-hour and gone experiences I slowed down and began to appreciate the subtle qualities of this uber-brew.

So what type of subtle qualities are we talking about? This question seems to ask what the difference is between a beer on cask/barrel and the same beer out of a keg? Obviously, casking IPA’s adds a smoother and creamier texture to the beer. There really is a lot to be said when an IPA is mellowed in this fashion. You just don’t get as much of the hoppy mouth pucker after taking a big gulp. Also, the head on this beer seemed to last longer with the cask conditioning. The head lasted until the last drop of beer was in the glass. Pretty cool shit!

Overall, this is one awesome beer that is great out of the bottle or on draft. But do yourself a favor and search out a cask of West Coast IPA from Green Flash. This beer on cask is the pinnacle of what San Diego Pale Ale should be.

Official BoozeReviews Score: 100/100

L’Chaim!

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Stouts in the summertime?  There really is nothing fun about knocking back a stout when my tits are sweating and my balls look like bat wings from sticking to the sides of my legs. Does Stone know something that I don’t?  Fuck it, I’ll try anything once, or in this case, twice. 

Bought a 12th Anniversary at Windmill Farms by SDSU for $5.49.  Just looking at the bottle, I’m glad that they kept the same color scheme as the 11th Anniversary. The blue and silver just looks good.  There is a huge rant about the hop shortage on the side of the bottle which apparently led to the 12th Anniversary being a stout and not an IPA or DIPA as in previous years.  9.2% abv WOW!  This bitch is bigger than Rosie O’Donnel’s vag and burns your throat worse than when the cellophane that you put over your mouth breaks when traveling down the yellow river. Not quite the burn of a Mephastopheles from Avery, but it will still light up your mouth like the first time that you tried huffing gas. You may want to age this one for a while until it mellows out a bit.  

The color of this stout is black, and I mean completely opaque.  Spelunkers rejoice!  The initial quaff reveals a heavy mouthfeel, thick and almost chewy.  However, I can’t get over the burning sensation and utter lack of hops.  No, I didn’t expect this stout to be hoppy, but I miss the hop-kick. Some impressions of bitter chocolate, but not as chocolaty as I thought it would be if that makes sense. Oatmeal?  Yeah, it’s probably in there somewhere behind the burn, but I can’t really appreciate the taste or smoothness that it should demonstrate. 

Is this beer making me sweat more?  Yes. There is nothing summery about this beer.  Shit.  I’m going to need a towel. Or two towels.  One for drying off each sopping wet tit. Now I know how my wife feels when I miss her face.  

Stone:  thank you for making me remember why I don’t drink stouts in the summertime.

Official BoozeReviews Score:  72.3/100

L’Chaim!

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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As a disclaimer of sorts, remember that this reviewer is addicted to the palate punishment ubiquitous in San Diego IPAs. Insert sound bite of Walter telling Donny ” Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element! ” here. But I won’t forget it. The pay’s not so good, but I take my gig seriously. I don’t just shack up with my first love, I play the field. I give the hyped up stouts a chance (those I can get my hands on). Frankly I just don’t get it. Maybe its the fuckin weather. Maybe if it wasn’t so damn hot all the time I wouldn’t mind my beer pouring with the same viscosity as the 10w-30 leaking like a sieve out of my truck. Regardless, this was supposed to be a review, not a rant.

Green Flash Double Stout comes in at a reasonable (by Imperial Stout standards) 8.8% ABV. Smell is of smoky, roasted malt; chocolate, and coffee. Dark black in the middle of the glass, the beer becomes deep, dark brown at the edge. Some viscosity, just not molasses viscosity. Dirty, thick brown head (description begs for obstreperous sexual innuendo). As it warmed the beer became increasingly silky and chocolaty. The slight hop bitterness on the finish kept the chocolate/mocha from becoming cloying. One bomber and I was adequately bombed. The 8.8% ABV is well concealed; I slugged this thing back like chocolate milk while looking into the availability of Pliny the Elder and Blind Pig in bottles. Warm it up, 50-55 degrees is optimal on this one.

Green Flash does the stout style proud with this brew. No chocolate, coffee, or other gimmicky adjuncts necessary to achieve a rich, flavorful beer. Chocolate and coffee impressions are achieved through oats and roasted malts. The drinkability of the beer remains high as the alcohol is kept in check.

96/100 points on the BoozeReviews scale.

(7 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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The Green Flash is a 22oz “one-bottle bomb” kind of beer with a healthy hop load and a remarkably clear color for a beer this big.  That’s likely to be the last coherent half-sentence I craft tonight, because, at 9% ABV,  this stuff’s going to have me drooling on myself shortly.

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(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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