BoozeReviews.net

What? A Russian River Pinot for under $30?! WTF? Read more »

Let me ask you this: do you know what BJAC is? BJAC. Think about it.

No, even though this is a wine blog, it’s not Blackberry Jam and Currant. It’s much, much better than that.

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There’s a Maori saying, He iti he iti kahikatoa: Do not despise a man of small stature—he may be as strong as the kahikatoa (a small tree, but strong and tough).

This is a $13 Pinot that knocked my socks off. Literally, I’m barefoot (and bare-assed) right now. (Great visual).

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Holy Mother of God and a Mackerel, Kanzler stepped up to the plate, pointed to McCovey Cove, took a swing and plunked 300 stitches of wine love right into a kayaker’s mouth. Giant’s fans will understand the analogy, the rest of you are going to have to do the research on your own, but here’s a summary for the masses:What baseball analogy is about to ensue when your date hops into the backseat of your ‘65 Mustang after hanging her panties from the rearview mirror?Home fuckin’ run. Long ball. Upper decks in most parks, a shotgun marriage in others. Read more »

Do you think Parker really spits when he’s tasting?

I mean, really?  Do you really think he actually spits out this glorious love juice we call wine?  When you think about it, if Jesus really went through the trouble to turn water into wine, then wouldn’t it be disrespectful– even sacrelegious or an outright affront to God– to spit it out?

No, I refuse to believe anyone would spit out a wine that tastes this good.  At least that’s what I told myself upon sucking down this whole bottle tonight.  You know what that means? Read more »

I’ve got to give these guys some credit: they’ve done what I didn’t think was possible.

That’s right.

They made a Russian River Pinot Noir that I don’t like. Read more »

Feeling a little surly tonight. Wanted to let everybody know that this boozereviewer’s palate is not one dimensional. My Lupulin love affair has not tainted my taste/affection for vino. As a disclaimer, I do tend to prefer reds over whites tenfold. That said, I have been curious about the nature (essence?) of Cali Chards when they aren’t all fucked up by the cloak of vanilla oak. WTF does this grape really taste like? Not a fan of overblown, buttery, flabby whites at all. Usually when I drink a white, I want it to be refreshing (77 degrees in San Diego today) and pair well with food—give me some acidity and minerality! On to the wine…

Pale yellow in the glass—looks like a Sauv Blanc. Nose of citrus soaked pears. No fuckin vanilla! Taste is crisp, apples and pears sandwiched with slate or some damn minerally, rocky shit. Did I mention I was breaking the cardinal rule of booze-reviewing: being inebriated as I type? Sorry. Finish is loooooong ( or maybe its my ability to comprehend time?). I could drink a whole bottle of this with my homemade roasted veggie pizza. Could? Did. Done. Gone.

50 points for containing alcohol. 20 points for being refreshing. 20 points for lacking vanilla/butter impressions. 2 points for being only $13.99 at Costco. 92 points overall on the Boozereviews scale. Going back for more to hold onto for summer.

One of the more affordable top-shelf Russian River Pinots out there, J Vineyards Russian River Pinot gives you a good taste of the region. It’s a good, consistent representation of what the Russian River has to offer.

Whoa, that sounded kind of serious. I think there must be something wrong with me here. Let’s explore this a bit further…
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Well kids, I’m getting tired of hanging out on the street corner, selling my hairy love pucker so I can afford the kind of Pinot Noir I’ve acquired a taste for. God damn, but trends fuck up the price of the things you love. Pinot’s the Brangelina of today’s wine media, more loved by connoisseurs and writers than Britney loves a coke binge. More loved than Bush loves the word Nuke-u-lar. As such, it seems damn near impossible to find any half-decent Pinots under $20/bottle.

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Another real big winner from Macphail… and by real big I mean Real Big. This is a balls-to-the-wall Pinot that’s got everything you ever wanted from a Pinot locked and loaded.And it fires off a big fat round of fruit right up front. Hits you right upside the head with it, like an angry wife with a rolling pin, who then lays you down and wakes you back up with a BJAC. Shit. I’m too loaded for witty commentary. Fuck it. That’s all there is. Good stuff. Even hundo, points-wise.