The drinking man's guide to fine (and not-so-fine) beer, wine and spirits
I was commenting to my wife the other day that I hadn’t written a booze review in a long time because I’ve been finding it hard to be happy lately. And me, I need to be happy to even think about being funny, usually. With the economy in the shitter and Fox news shoving the crap back up our asses, a lot of us have been feeling… well… shitty. Myself included.
Well, it’s not the first time I’ve been the asshole… and it’d be money well-spent to bet that it’s also not the last time. But I have to recant a previous nasty review I gave to this tequila. Turns out I had a bad bottle. A really, really bad bottle of what I’ve recently rediscovered to be a really tasty tequila. So here I sit, El Presidente de Culos: I was too damn dumb to spot a tainted bottle when I drank one. So here’s to the power of trying again. I’m nothing if not tenacious when it comes to my booze. Call me Tenacious J.
OK. Go ahead and say it. Go ahead. Ask. What the hell is he talking about?
Look, I’m breaking a cardinal rule here. A couple of them (yes, that’s an ice cube in my Riedel tequila flute). I’m reviewing two totally different tequilas together. A really crisp blanco and a really crusty, oak-laden añejo. Which means I’m drinking ‘em both together too. Which means there will likely be lots of spelling and grammar uuck fups in the following… and none of it is likely to make a shitload of sense either.
Author’s Note: This review has since been amended due to the fact that the original bottle reviewed was tainted. My original review follows below, but please also make sure to read the amended review here. The amended review is far more accurate.
If it hadn’t cost $55 for a bottle, the fact that it smells like my high school Biology classroom wouldn’t bother me much…… But that medicinal aroma is killing me now. Maybe ‘medicinal’ isn’t quite right… formaldehyde isn’t really medicine, now is it?
The makers claim that the oak aging gives it a “decadent aroma of toffee, vanilla, perfume and rich brown spices”, but I’m really not getting any of that bullshit at all. What I get is paint thinner and…
I think this could be my first 200 point review…People give me booze for Christmas. I mean, everyone I know does it, even the ones who don’t know everyone else does it. This should probably tell me something about myself, but fuck it.
So this year, among other outstanding bottles which will also be reviewed, a friend dropped off a bottle of Don Julio 1942, and all I can say is Holy Shit.
Every so often you unexpectedly come across a real winner… this is one of ‘em.A couple of months ago my brother-in-law dropped off a 750 of San Matias that he picked up south of the border for an unbelievably low price. I threw it in the freezer for awhile, and just now poured meeself a cognac snifter full… and I have to say, This Jalisco-bred stuff is out-stand-ing. Serously out-fucking-standing.
The poor man’s Viagra… fix up a stiff one with this dependable standby and you’ll be partying all night long and wake up wearing your pants on your headI am not a Cuervo kind of guy.
I’ve always thought of Cuervo as sort of a last resort. Maybe it was the obnoxious volleyball tournament they used to sponsor on main beach here in Santa Cruz… maybe it’s the fact that Cuervo tequila tastes like it was made using agave substitute… I dunno… either way, when I need a good old standby Tequila, a Margarita Tequila, or a shooting tequila, I sack up the extra buck or so and drink Hornitos.
High-end 100% Blue Agave Tequila by Cazadores de Arandas lives up to the hype… mostly… and hey, the bottle will make a great vase. I was given a bottle of this stuff recently by a friend for some web work I did, and I’ve been really happy with it. In fact… I’ve been a little too happy and the damn bottle is already half-gone. Thank God I didn’t have to buy it though, since I hear my buddy had to come up with at least one pound of flesh and refinance his house just to get his hands on one 750.
This is a place where you can find honest reviews of beer, wine and spirits written by young snob-haters for the average Joe who just likes his or her liquor.
more about »
Look, I know we're idiots, but we rank really well on a lot of search engines, so this is free, high-profile advertising for your product (assuming it's good)...
learn more »
(5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5) (5.00 out of 5)