Comments on: Mainstream Beer Ads – A Rant http://www.boozereviews.net/beer/mainstream-beer-ads-a-rant The drinking man's guide to fine (and not so fine) beer, wine and spirits Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:07:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Juanote http://www.boozereviews.net/beer/mainstream-beer-ads-a-rant#comment-2323 Juanote Thu, 23 Apr 2009 04:34:54 +0000 http://www.boozereviews.net/?p=604#comment-2323 Sorry, connoisseur is indeed more appropriate. And I forgot to mention that I do lean towards a nice, crisp IPA these days... Yeah, I think "Drinkability" is another entire post. I mean, if it pissed me off because "triple hops brewed" simply re-states the obvious, "Drinkability" enters into an entirely new realm of obvious. The screenplay looks like this: MAN WITH DEEP, SONOROUS VOICE (ENTHUSIASTICALLY): Drinkability. Yeeaah. You can actually <em>drink</em> our beer. You know those other beers, the ones you simply pour all over your nuts before sex? We're not one of those. With our beer, the Drinkable beer known as Buttwiper, you can actually put it in this thing we call a "refrigerator" and get it cold, then you can put your lips up to the can and a cool, amber liquid coats your tongue. Then-- and this is the kicker -- you get to swallow it. Imagine that. Just sit back for a second and imagine... <em>swallowing</em>. Sorry, connoisseur is indeed more appropriate. And I forgot to mention that I do lean towards a nice, crisp IPA these days…

Yeah, I think “Drinkability” is another entire post. I mean, if it pissed me off because “triple hops brewed” simply re-states the obvious, “Drinkability” enters into an entirely new realm of obvious. The screenplay looks like this:

MAN WITH DEEP, SONOROUS VOICE (ENTHUSIASTICALLY):
Drinkability. Yeeaah. You can actually drink our beer. You know those other beers, the ones you simply pour all over your nuts before sex? We’re not one of those. With our beer, the Drinkable beer known as Buttwiper, you can actually put it in this thing we call a “refrigerator” and get it cold, then you can put your lips up to the can and a cool, amber liquid coats your tongue. Then– and this is the kicker — you get to swallow it. Imagine that. Just sit back for a second and imagine… swallowing.

]]> By: J David http://www.boozereviews.net/beer/mainstream-beer-ads-a-rant#comment-2319 J David Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:23:51 +0000 http://www.boozereviews.net/?p=604#comment-2319 Uh, I prefer the moniker "connoisseur" of fine beer (and wine), which of course is a euphemism for "snob". However, I have been known to enjoy a Pacifico, or ten, while sweltering in the heat. In fact I still love Pacifico for what it is. I might even throw some lime in it. If you surveyed 100 Miller drinkers, how many of them would know shit about brewing? 10? How about Coors and their "Cold Activated Can"? Let me see, I have this can of beer in my hand, can I trust my senses to tell me whether it is cold enough to drink? No. Good thing I can look on the can to see that the mountains have turned blue, telling me to move forward. Asinine. Don't even get me started on "Drinkability". Uh, I prefer the moniker “connoisseur” of fine beer (and wine), which of course is a euphemism for “snob”. However, I have been known to enjoy a Pacifico, or ten, while sweltering in the heat. In fact I still love Pacifico for what it is. I might even throw some lime in it.

If you surveyed 100 Miller drinkers, how many of them would know shit about brewing? 10?

How about Coors and their “Cold Activated Can”? Let me see, I have this can of beer in my hand, can I trust my senses to tell me whether it is cold enough to drink? No. Good thing I can look on the can to see that the mountains have turned blue, telling me to move forward. Asinine.

Don’t even get me started on “Drinkability”.

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