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T-h-e. Three letters. So simple, yet so profound. Anytime a name starts with “the,” that thing being described had better be good…no, it had better be the best.

“The” makes the promise of nonpareil sublimity, of prominence, of unparalleled perfection. Baseball had it’s version with “The Babe,” a larger than life spectacle whose off the field boozery was overshadowed only by his then unreachable home run record. He was a champion, the unrivaled quintessence of what a baseball player should be. George Herman Ruth just doesn’t have the same ring.

Blue Frog Grog and Grill really misses the mark for calling this below average brew, “The DIPA.” It really has none of the qualities essential to separating itself from the middle of the pack other than a fancy bottle (corked) and a tricky name. The back of the bottle claims “This monstrous version of our IPA has been overloaded with everything from the malt to the hops, even the tunes we rocked out to during the brew day were huge. This bottle conditioned Double India Pale Ale is abound [sic] with aromas of citrus hops, English toffee, and fresh baked biscuits. Carmel [sic] notes, hoppy lovin’ and slight yeastie notes jump off your tongue.” The only thing jumping off my tongue was, “Man, I can’t believe I just paid $8.59 for one bottle of this mediocre schwill…”

If all of this bottleganda were true, I would have no problem calling this beer “The DIPA,” just as I call my friend who likes to eat hooker pussy “The craziest motherfucker alive.” But, unlike Stinklips (as we now call him), this beer really lacks the bold, brazen character necessary to qualify it as “The DIPA.” I found no citrus aroma, no toffee, and when they promise the aroma of “fresh baked biscuits” what they really mean is the aroma of Sea Biscuit’s balls. And what the fuck is “hoppy lovin’?” Who talks like this? I’ll tell you who, ***EDITED*** That’s who.

Score:

I was promised a great beer based on the name and packaging alone, and was let down with a boring, average brew that was simply “dressed up” and given an eye-catching name. This beer got my hopes up, but after tasting it, I feel betrayed.

The moral of the story is that you can dress up a turd by giving it a gaudy hat and a lavish suit, but, in the end, you’re still left with a turd.

This leaves us with an official BoozeReviews score of: 45/100

L’Chaim!

(9 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)

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