BoozeReviews.net

This is a place where you can find honest reviews of beer, wine and spirits written by young snob-haters for the average Joe who just likes his or her liquor.

Sick of all those stuffy wine reviewers? Me too! Who the hell are those guys talking to anyway?? Want to learn about that one special tequila you saw at BevMo last week, but you don’t trust the manufacturer’s information, and you suspect the salesman there was just trying to sell you the most expensive bottle he could find? Happens a lot.

Well then, welcome to BoozeReviews. What we’re all about is real live reviews of all kinds of booze– reviews that the average Joe can understand. Yeah, we’ve got a point system and can wax philosophical about the ins and outs of a given beverage’s inner character… but we like to drink booze and enjoy it. We don’t even consider spitting out wine: a damn insult to the wine maker– he or she made it to be imbibed, for God’s sake. If it tastes good, drink it. If you’re broke and it tastes alright, drink it. If it sucks, STOP– don’t pour it out… there are all sorts of creative things you can do with it. Cook with it. Stick a rag in it, light it and throw it. Start campfires with it.

We’re just average guys (and a girl) who like really good booze. We like to drink it, we like to talk about it, and sometimes we like to throw moderation out the window and then really rant about it before we pass out and vomit in our buddy’s boots.

Sometimes.

Also, please don’t email us or call us with any moralistic bullshit about the dangers of alcohol. The US Government tried prohibiition a long time ago, and it failed, so just shut up and go back to church if that’s your schtick. We will say this: we DON’T advocate the abuse of alcohol by anyone, especially anyone under 21 years old; and we DO encourage everyone to be responsible when they drink, despite what I just said about our own (occasional) actions in the previous paragraph. Everything we write here comes from our own personal opinion and experience, usually experienced in the comfort and safety of our own homes, with minimal collateral damage to property or loved ones. If you can’t handle your booze, then you’ve got no reason to be drinking– suck it up and get some help. If you CAN handle your alcohol and you like to laugh at a bunch of boozers ranting philosophical about the booze they love, then hey, lucky you, you’ve found BoozeReviews.net! Enjoy. Cheers.

Why are we doing this??

Because we can. It’s fun to talk about things you like and bash things you don’t. It’s fun to sit down with a big contraband cigar and a glass of 12 year Nicaraguan Rum and feel the oak character expand in your mouth… sure… but hey, we’re not the kind of folks who won’t also suck down a 12-er of Keystone while playing a heated game of Beer Pong.

Some of our reviews may be contrite. Some may be downright silly. Some may be written after we’ve tated 10 different wines and you won’t understand a god damned thing we say. And some may be useful and professional… you just never know… but I can guarantee you’ll enjoy yourself.. and hey, isn’t that the point of it all anyway?

(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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