BoozeReviews.net

This website is intended for an audience over 21 years old, and contains some profanity and lots of stories about all sorts of things that happen while imbibing alcohol. If you are not of legal drinking age, or you are easily offended by profanity, then please, for our sake and yours, go away. Otherwise... enjoy the site, and hopefully we'll make you laugh in the process. And make sure you check out our ratings system on your first visit, so you know how we're judging this stuff.

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OK, so you're over 21? You can handle crudeness, juvenile humor and profanity? Then read on...

A friend of mine gave me this bottle of 76% Syrah, 21% Grenache and 3% Carignane a few months back, and I’ve been trying very hard not to drink it.  I figured, with 5 years of bottle age already, I’d give it another 2 or 3 and have myself one nice bottle of aged syrah.

Well, as typically happens when confronted with wine, my willpower gave out and now I’ve got my big sniffer buried balls-deep inside an incredibly rich glass of Santa Cruz grape juice.

I’ve always been a fan of Paul Draper’s wines.  I like his style.  Before native yeast fermentation was cool in California, Paul was doing it.  Ridge has also long adhered to sustainable farming practices, believing that the right thing for the environment is also the best thing for the wine.  Paul figured out, as the French did long ago, that if you care for your fruit in the vineyard, you don’t need to mess with it much in the winery. And, unlike me, Paul is eloquent and thoughtful about his passion, often speaking in terms not often heard in the corporate wine world.  If you haven’t seen it yet, check out From Ground to Glass, in which Paul is set in almost stark contrast to some of the more commercial wineries in the area.

From the label:

Forty inches of winter rain and a warm spring produced a good crop, despite further rain in May during set… Natural yeasts carried the wine to drynes; we pressed at seven days.  An uninoculated malolactic and twelve months in small cooperage followed… The dominant fruit is syrah, which provides structure.  Granache brings an exotic dimension to the fruit, and old vine carignane adds bright acidity and a touch of elegance.  A total of twenty-two months in air-dried American oak has brought the tannins and full body into balance, and five years of bottle age will bring further complexity to this fine wine.

It was that last part, written in July of 2004, that got me tonight:

five years of bottle age will bring further complexity to this fine wine

Some quick math on the world’s oldest calculator (my fingers) and I was ready to pull the trigger.

It pours a nice, deep, inky ruby, with just the slightest hint of amber around the edges.  The nose is of ripe dark fruit with just a breath of cedar and tobacco.  It smells well-aged and integrated, with not a singular component screaming out of the glass at you.

As a woman once said to me after head, it’s “a damn big mouthful” (sounded more like, “uth uh doom bug mufful”); and it comes with a similar viscosity too, coating the entire palate  with its goodness.  I’m getting plums and a touch of currant after smoking the first 2 pulls off of a moist robusto cigar.  At 13.8% ABV, it’s not a monster of a syrah; instead it’s a balanced, nuanced, perfectly ripe wine that would go well with food, despite the fact that I’m drinking it without.  The acid is there but mellowed, letting the true fruit flavors shine.  This is quite possibly the most complex and rewarding syrah I have ever tasted, and has me wishing I could speed up the clock and age the rest of my cellar to this perfection.

All in all, I’m giving this 02 Syrah a perfect score.  If you can still find any of this anywhere, buy it.  You’ll be glad you did.

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Being of Italian ancestry, I have what some women have politely referred to as a Roman Nose.  Also known as a big fucking bump-in-the-middle dog-style power sniffer.  And like my canine counterparts, I’m led to and fro not by my genitals (usually), but by that monolithic - nay , phallic -  “old factory” olfactory factory stuck to my face. Read more »

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Good beer from Mexico?  Yes, there really is such a thing.  Now I’m not talking about Tecate, Corona, Dos Equis, Bohemia, Negro Modelo, or any of the great summertime thirst quenchers.  I’m talking big, bold, highly flavored, brew straight out of B.C.. We’ll just call it “grandote” for now and leave it at that.

BJR tried to kill JDavid and me with this bottle by busting it out minutes before starting the long walk home. This certainly turned what would have been a slightly intoxicated walk into a downright stumble.  All I remember is that the sidewalk was playing tricks on me by moving back and forth while I was walking in a perfectly straight line.  Fucking sidewalk…
When we poured the beer, the color was reddish brown with little to no head. A bit undercarbonated, even for the style. When I stuck my big Jew nose in the glass there was caramel, alcohol, malt, and a bit of sweetness. Some leathery notes in the background.
Dark fruit and alcohol are the biggest players in the taste of this beer. Although there is a bit of a hop presence, the candied raisins, toffee, and brown sugar are present in the finish as well.
Mouthfeel is a bit stagnant; the carbonation could be pumped up a little in this bottle, which , coupled with mucho alcohol, make the drinkability almost nonexistent.

Great to see a great style of beer coming from our friends down south.  A good example of the style, and well done at that!  De puta madre!

Official BoozeReviews Score: 85/100

L’Chaim!

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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“It’s all very exciting. We have wood. Now you do too.” Huh, you might ask? But it’s true: I’ve never been so excited- to the point of getting wood- that another dude got wood! Palo Santo Marron is a brown ale brewed in 10,000 gallon Palo Santo wood vessels. That’s right, the off-centered folks at Dogfish Head went all the way down to Paraguay to get…wood! And I’m pretty god damn happy that they did.

The first time I tried this beer last year I wasn’t a big fan. But don’t fault the beer. You see, drinking a big, malty, high abv (12%) beer in 100 degree heat is a lot like getting head when you feel like having diarrhea. Whether you’re male or female, it’s hard to focus on pleasure when you’re worried about a butt pee eruption exploding in your lover’s face. I’m just not down with fecalphelia; But Palo Santo Marron when it’s cold out, yes I am.
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(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Lagunitas has been producing some quality brew lately. Hop Stoopid, Old Gnarleywine, and now 2009 Correction Ale, although it might be better named “erection ale” as this is one pants-raising beer. Although this beer marks the end of the Zappa line of beers it was brewed in the spirit of celebrating the financial turmoil that Americans are currently experiencing. “Live to party” is the motto inscribed on the side of the bottle, and I wholeheartedly agree with this philosophy.

2009 bottle from Windmill Farms in Del Cerro. Well deservedly consumed after a mountain bike ride at Mission Trails with JDavid. My balls and inner thighs paid the price for this one.  Clocking in at 6.3%, this beer rests squarely in the category of a lighter West Coast IPA, or APA.
Poured a light orange with a fluffy IPA head that one would expect. There is some good lacing around the glass as the beer is consumed.
Smell is tropical, floral, and hoppy. Reminiscent of Kill Ugly Radio and Hop Stoopid on a smaller scale. Some mango, pineapple, fresh flowers, and hops round out the aroma.
The taste imbibes all of the tropical notes that one would want out of a fruity IPA. The hop bitterness is present in the finish, but not overwhelming. Although this isn’t the typical “balanced” IPA, it does conform to the West Coast style of being overly hopped, and lacking a malt backbone. The dryness of the finish is pleasant and cleanses the palate before the next quaff, making this a perfect summertime beer.  Clean, refreshing, fruity, hoppy, and dry.  These are the qualities that a good APA should have!

Official BoozeReviews Score: 90/100

L’Chaim!

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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OK, look: unlike the San Diego contingent, I am not a beer snob. If the weather’s warm, the beer’s piss-colored or darker and cold, and I’m thirsty, I’ll drink it and probably like it. It’s cold, it’s somewhat refreshing and it tastes great when you’ve been out angling for Halibut all day with nothing else to do but talk about strippers with the other guy on the boat. Look, I’m a guy who once split a flask of Jack Daniels’, 3 homebrews, a 12-er or Bud, a joint and another 30-pack of Bud with 2 other people while at-sea on my canoe, then stopped at the gas dock (in a canoe with no motor, go figure) so I could get another 12-er for the long half-mile trek through the harbor.

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(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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This west coast style triple IPA is big and unapologetic. With an abv over 11% disguised like a stripper in a nun’s suit, Exponential Hoppiness will leave you exponentially inebriated and absolved satisfied. Drunken hyperbole aside, it is with good reason that this beer has been dubbed “the most dangerous beer in America.” Having split my last growler with Tunk last night, I’m still fighting back a headache today (the 09 Stone IRS and the Cuvee Rene I had first probably didn’t help). Drinking your own growler is not advised!
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(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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I have had some shitty beer in my time, but this is the first one with shit in it. The folks at Mikeller thought it would be a great idea to not just brew a coffee stout, but a civet cat coffee stout.  Some supplemental reading for those of you not keen on Kopi Luwak.  Call me a skeptic (or an asshole), but I really can’t see how Mikeller could afford to brew a beer out of coffee that costs over $100/lb.

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(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Fate, destiny, love of beer;  all on the same wondrous collision course into the realm of my alcohol-infused reality.  I keep asking myself, did I find this great IPA from Georgia, or did it find me?  But what’s with the rainbow trout on the label? Now think about this, although the label is extremely bad ass, do trout really live in Georgia?  It’s fucking hot there.  I’ll leave this question up to those more knowlegeable than myself on Georgian specifics. Chaos.  Madness. The journey continues.

Pours golden with a nice creamy head into my shaped pint glass. Color is on the darker side of the IPA spectrum.  Smells of tropical fruit. Pineapple, mango, guava. Hops, hops, and hops.
Taste is everything that I hoped it would be and more. Fruity, hoppy, dry, bitter, all of the elements are here that make a great IPA. And still manages to carry less than seven percent alcohol. As I drink this and it warms a bit it keeps getting more and more flavorful. Like eating a pineapple while drinking a Stone IPA. I respect this beer.  Mouthfeel is creamy and the carbonation elevates this beer to another level. I would like a keg of this little sister of Sculpin and Pure Hoppiness.

The whole time I’m drinking this beer I’m thinking “is this really what they’re doing down there a?”  Fantastic.  Wonderful.  Thank God for fate!

(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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I’ve been getting into barley wine lately. Had twenty or so samples of the style in the past year, both on tap and bottles. Barrel aged and not. I’d say after the experience of these tastings, that I really love a good barrel aged barley wine. Something about the aging really makes the smell and taste pop while maintaing a good balance of flavor.
I obtained a 2008 bottle of HOTD Fred From the Wood (the wood aged version of their normal Fred) and split it three ways with my cousins, who are fine conisseurs of many things, but don’t know much about good beer.

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(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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